Tuesday, October 15, 2013

In Memoriam: Mikey

The biggest sin Mikey likely ever committed in life was dating Tina.  That little fact might overshadow his vanity a tad.  Mikey was an old school greaser living in the very wrong time.  The 1980s.  I suppose you could say he had "friends", but this muscle car loving leather jacket enthusiast was his own lone wolf pack.  As long as he had himself, his car and some beer, Mikey was right where he wanted to be.  With all this...he didn't need Tina.  And as much of a bad boy as he was...he could have had the pick of the litter in Haddonfield.  Why oh why of all of them did he decide on Tina?  I pose this same very question of the producers, casting director and Dominique Othenin-Girard. 

Tina was his main squeeze, but Mikey's car was his #1 in life.  You could call it vehicular OCD, but most would argue it was true love.  In the short time we got to peer into Mikey's life, he was constantly cleaning and buffing the car up.  How could that moron Spitz think it was a good idea to run his fingers on it?  That buffoon!  It was gonna take hours to buff those finger prints out and get the car's shine even stevens.  But, Spitz was the hookup for booze for the Halloween party at the Tower Farm, so just a little threat would have to suffice.
That Tower Farm party Mikey never got to attend.  Instead, another Michael took his place.  Mikey, had a sense of humor, he had this nifty goon-looking mask that was sure to be a big hit at the party.  It was to be though, as Michael Myers took a gardening tool to Mikey's wheels.  Why would he do such a thing.  Why would he come after Mikey and his car?  BECAUSE YOU WERE SHACKING UP WITH TINA...THAT'S WHY!  The scraping of the car in effect was the end of Mikey's life there.  This damage was heart wrenching.  So Mikey went to Michael Myers and requested that he share the same fate as his automobile as they were one.

Here's to too cool for school Mikey!

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