Friday, October 4, 2013

A Girl Scout's First HALLOWEEN (Guest Article)

Naptown Nerd trivia aficionados and stat geeks, we now have the answer to the question; Who was the first guest writer on Naptown Nerd?  The answer is Why So Blu?'s latest addition, LANEY FEESER.  This will be the first of a few guest pieces that will be filling out this retrospective.  When I asked Laney to throw me something she mentioned she'd never seen the original.  I thought - BRILLIANT!  It'd be awesome to have someone freshly recollect their first encounter.  Anyways...I'll shut up and let Laney speak!  Enjoy!
Fall is here my friends, and it comes baring some of my favorite things: Hot cider. Beautiful foliage. Tall boots and cute scarves. Pumpkin flavored anything. No shave November (Ladies, can I get an amen?) And maybe the best of all, Halloween. A holiday that gives anyone and everyone a reason to get weird, wild, hilarious, and terrifying. Dudes dress like ladies and ladies dress like floozies and not a one will judge you. But the real reason for the season and my personal favorite genre is the fright factor. Bloody chainsaws; black caped vampires (sex-crazed, sparkling teenagers excluded); Michael Jackson’s Thriller video; teenage babysitters getting phone calls that are coming from “inside the house!” All of these awesomely morbid creatures and scenarios have been made possible through the art of cinema. Horror movies aren’t for everyone, but for the kool kids who know what’s up, nothing gets your adrenaline pumping and your heart pounding like some good old fashioned simulated blood, guts and death.  

When I was asked to write about John Carpenter’s film Halloween, I jumped at the chance. You don’t have to read between the lines to clearly decipher from the opening, this girl enjoys Halloween. But it’s with great embarrassment that I come clean and admit that I, Laney Renee Feeser, have never seen Halloween. But that’s not to say that I’m unfamiliar with the legend that is Michael Myers. Being that I am a Trekkie freak, I love, love, LOVE that the iconic serial killer mask that we’ve all come to fear was originally a William Shatner, Captain Kirk mask spray painted white. Who knew that handsome devil could prove to be so menacing!? And I’m not completely ignorant to the Halloween franchise either. In 1998, I was 12 and Halloween H20: 20 Years Later was released. Lest we forget, Josh Harnett was one of the top heart throbs of my tweeny generation. Girlie sleepovers aren’t complete without late night scary movies and drooling over cute boys. Seeing as H2O was the best of both worlds, this became a Saturday night staple.
As I planned to watch this iconic slasher, the anticipated screening brought two more Halloween newbies out of the woodwork: my two best buds and fellow movie enthusiast, Michael and Chandler! Scary movies are just plain scary when you watch them alone, but when paired with good company, shrieks of terror are always followed up with compensating giggles and in our circle, LOLz are never in short supply. The evening became an event with a full course meal including appetizer, entrĂ©e and dessert and after inhaling our feast, we optimized the mood. Lights off. Candles lit. Doors locked (double bolted). With the mood set to perfection, the three of us plop down ready to be terrorized. It’s now worth mentioning that Chandler and Michael are dating, and as they snuggled up on the couch, I’m left to the single seat arm chair. I’m not scared. It’s fine. Really. I’ll be good over here. Snuggling… myself? <Sigh>
To start from the beginning, we have to talk music. What “Duuuh, Duh…” (said in slow-mo) did for man eating sharks, “Dee-dee” (said 10x fast) did for psychopathic serial killers. This oh-so very creepy opening sequence has become as iconic and feared as the expressionless white mask. Mask, music, and Jamie Lee Curtis was my only prerequisite knowledge I had regarding this movie. In the first 5 minutes, it’s revealed that Michael Myers was just a little tyke when he started his stab-tastical adventures, which began with his naked sister. Solid start, especially when you see that little man is wearing a clown costume and I know for a fact that everyone has a fear of knife-wielding, kiddy clowns. 
Fast forward 15 years and we have the inevitable break-out-of-mental-institution sequence. When creatures scuttle and crawl to catch their prey, I kind of freak out. i.e The Exorcist: backwards-down-the-stairs move. The Ring: come-out-of-the-TV move. I’m now adding Halloween: creep-up-the-back-of-the-car-onto-the-roof move. Michael’s head tilting also proved to be quite frightening to me. This inquisitive look that proves darling for a puppy doesn’t have quite the same effect for a masked killer. But the most shocking Michael moment for me was in the final struggle with Laurie when she inadvertently unmasked him. Michael is presented so mysteriously throughout the entire film, I thought revealing his face was a bold move. But the face they chose to show was a good choice; definitely the face of a serial killer.     
Halloween is the most vintage Jamie Lee Curtis you can get. And what I realized is that she makes up the elite and rare group of females who have the coveted Benjamin Button syndrome. Jamie Lee is looking way better now than her character, Laurie, 30 years back. Long hair does for her what Ed Hardy t-shirts do for no one. But she did dress to kill (see what I did there?) the night it hits the fan. I really dig those high-wasted jeans and tucked blue button up. She turned the conservative librarian look super sexy.
My favorite part about Laurie is that her character is compared to a girl scout. My favorite line of the movie is when Laurie gets off the phone with her girlfriend whom has just agreed to put in a good word with her crush when she says, “And the old Girl Scout comes through again.” My best friend refers to me as a girl scout routinely, and I secretly love it. Girl scouts are smart, resourceful, and can always escape from a psychopathic serial killer even if they must defend themselves with only a clothes hanger. It was probably about now when I glanced over at Chandler and Michael canoodling on the couch that I realized, I am Laurie Strode. But I’m totally okay with that. I know that I’ll be the survivor of the group when a serial killer comes to town.
The credits roll and we turn the lights up. “It wasn’t that scary,” the three of us agree. Michael and Chandler make for the door, and I show them out… and now I’m left to my lonesome. After double checking that all the doors are locked, I decide to clean up before heading to bed. As I unload the dishwasher, the first thing I notice is the large kitchen knife, shiny and clean on the top rack. I take the knife out and pause. Instead of placing it in the drawer where it belongs, I place it on the counter within close reach. It just seemed smart to leave this piece for last. And I should know: a Girl Scout must always be prepared.

You can more of Laney's movie reviews HERE

No comments:

Post a Comment