Naptown Nerd: 2014

Friday, December 26, 2014

My 2014: Best Musical Performance In A Non-Musical Film - Bill Hader & Kristen Wiig (The Skeleton Twins)

I don't know if there's much more I have to add to this, aside from the fact that its fantastic, I laughed my ass off and its the highlight of this movie (Which is pretty good outside of this clip, btw). When I saw the film for the first time, you bet your ass afterward I went back and watched this thing a few more times...then discovered there's a clip on YouTube and watched it a few more. Bill Hader is a comedic genius that hopefully one day just blows up. I miss him on SNL (An all time favorite cast member of mine), but I like the interesting choices he makes and he's always great in everything he pops up in. I don't think you have to have seen the movie to get the clip or enjoy it. And oh yeah...Starship is gonna be stuck in your head for days and put the thought of doing a Mannequin "Quickie" Retrospective in your head.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Ten Movies To Bring Them All And In The Darkness Rank Them: Ranking The Lord Of The Rings Films

First off, a very very very big thanks to Jim Dietz, Jen Gualdoni, Scott Mendelson, Aaron Neuwirth, Victoria Irwin, Maxwell Haddad and Philip Vandy Price for subbing in here and guesting to give this retrospective many different flavors. Believe me, it gave me a nice little break to catch up on some other things as well ;) I hope you enjoyed their voice on this journey back to the Middle-Earths of Peter Jackson, Rankin/Bass and Ralph Bakshi.

The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies

2014

Director: Peter Jackson

Starring: Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom. Evangeline Lilly, Luke Evans, Lee Pace, Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving, Christopher Lee

Rated: PG-13

Will you follow me...one last time?

~Thorin Oakenshield

The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug (2013) - Philip Vandy Price

The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug

2013

Director: Peter Jackson

Starring: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, Orlando Bloom Evangeline Lilly, Andy Serkis, Lee Pace, Benedict Cumberbatch

Rated: PG-13

Revenge? REVENGE? I will show you revenge!

~Smaug

Here's our final guest piece for this fantastic and flavorful little retrospective. It comes from Philip Vandy Price who you might remember I talked Robocop with on Out Now With Aaron & Abe. He's got a terrific little film review blog I enjoy following called Reviews From A Bed that you can check out HERE!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) - Maxwell Haddad

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

2012

Director: Peter Jackson

Starring: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, Andy Serkis, Lee Pace, Sylvester McCoy

Rated: PG-13

I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure.

~Gandalf

Today we've got one of my favorite people to talk film shop with and...well Sleepy Hollow...one of my co-hosts on the IchaPod CraneCast, Maxwell Haddad! You definitely need to check out www.cinemaxwell.com as well as his writing over at The Young Folks. I'm so thankful he's taken on An Unexpected Journey for us here in the Fellowship!

The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King (2003) - Victoria Irwin

The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King

2003

Director: Peter Jackson

Starring: Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom, Miranda Otto, Brad Dourif, Christopher Lee, Sean Astin, Karl Urban, Liv Tyler, Cate Blanchett, Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd, John Rhys-Davies, David Wenham, Hugo Weaving, John Noble

Rated: PG-13

Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an elf.

~Gimli

Our next member to join the fellowship is Victoria Irwin who is the head honcho over at the super groovy and ultra cool FangirlNation. If you'll remember, she joined us for the Sleepy Hollow Commentary back in September and I had a blast with that discussion so I knew I had to coax her into a guesting on Naptown Nerd someday. And today is that day.

The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers (2002) - Aaron Neuwirth

The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers

2002

Director: Peter Jackson

Rated: PG-13

I want to hear more about Sam.

~Frodo Baggins

Aaron Neuwirth is back...which is no surprise. However, he's not the world's biggest LOTR fan either, which may surprise...it may not. I think the retrospective benefits greatly from having someone of his perspective that isn't a hater, he's just not the rabid fan. And this piece is pretty terrific. Check it out...also check out OUT NOW WITH AARON & ABE every week on the HHWLOD Podcast Network and drop by THE CODE IS ZEEK for his reviews and bloggings as well as Why So Blu.

The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring (2001) - Scott Mendelson

The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

2001

Director: Peter Jackson

Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellan, Viggo Mortensen, Liv Tyler, Orlando Bloom, Hugo Weaving, John Rhys-Davies, Sean Astin, Dominic Monaghan, Christopher Lee, Ian Holm, Sean Bean, Billy Boyd, Cate Blanchett

Rated: PG-13

A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.

~Gandalf

Well, my next guest needs no introduction. Forbes' Scott Mendelson returns to Naptown Nerd to discuss one of my favorite films in the LOTR series, The Fellowship Of The Ring. You can of course find Scott's work on Forbes.com and check him out in featurette on the 25th Anniversary Edition of Tim Burton's BATMAN available now.

The Fabulous Journey Of Mr. Bilbo Baggins The Hobbit (1985)

The Fabulous Journey Of Mr. Bilbo Baggins The Hobbit

1985

Director: Vladimir Latyshev

Starring: Anatoly Ravikovich, Ivan Krasko, Igor Dmitriev

Not Rated

There's no quote here, because I'm not fluent in Russian.

And props to Jim Dietz for directing me to this. I had no idea it existed.

The Return Of The King (1980) - Jennifer Gualdoni

The Return Of The King

1980

Director: Jules Bass, Arthur Rankin Jr

Starring: Orson Bean, John Huston, Roddy McDowall, Casey Kasem, Theodore Bikel, William Conrad, Nellie Bellflower

Not Rated

Oh Sam, what have I said? What have I done?

~Frodo Baggins

Today my guest is Jennifer Gualdoni, or "Jen G" as I tend to refer to her. She's the biggest X-Men fan I know, so of course I bring her on here to do a piece on Lord Of The Rings, right? Anywho, enjoy! And be sure to check out her book reviews on her site www.goddessbnl.com !

The Lord Of The Rings (1978) - Jim Dietz

The Lord Of The Rings

1978

Director: Ralph Bakshi

Starring: John Hurt, Christopher Guard, William Squire, Simon Chandler, Dominic Guard, Anthony Daniels

Rated: PG

Legolas: So all you had to do was say friend...and enter.

Gilmi: Those were happier times...

Our first guest up to join the Fellowship, is the legendary Jim Dietz. Jim runs the HHWLOD Podcast Network where you can find the show I co-host, The IchaPod CraneCast was well as PLENTY of shows to keep you entertained. And if you listen, you'll know I love doing commentary tracks with this guy. In addition to the incredible Walking Dead TV podcast, Jim now does the DCTV podcast focusing on all things DC Comics on television. I don't have to tell you that its great too. Anyway...I should shut up and let Jim do the talking.

The Hobbit (1977)

The Hobbit

1977

Director: Jules Bass, Arthur Rankin Jr.

Starring: Orson Bean, Richard Boone, John Huston, Otto Preminger, Han Conried

Not Rated

I'm Mr. Bilbo Baggins. I've lost my dwarves, my wizard and my way.

~Bilbo Baggins

The Fellowship Of The Retrospective

The Hobbit; Battle Of The Five Armies is bringing Peter Jackson's 2-Trilogy 6-film epic of the JRR Tolkien lore to a close. Although, I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of this universe. Personally, I'm not some super huge Lord Of The Rings junkie. I never read the books, but I was quite a big fan of the original trilogy, as I think its cinematic excellence. Every time there's a new one my but is firmly planted in a seat opening weekend. However, I'm also someone who is perfectly fine with the theatrical cuts of these films. I own no real collectibles on the series aside from Blu-rays and DVDs in my movie collection.

Welcome To Prime Time: Ranking The A Nightmare On Elm Street Films

Okay, we've done it. A month of Freddy. I hope you've enjoyed a month-long retrospective dedicated to one of my favorite cinematic villains of all time. If you can't tell from my profile picture on this blog...I'm kinda big fan of this series. This franchise is one, unlike its contemporaries, that actually gets to sort of have its own story play out without dodging entries or starting fresh multiple times within the original canon. Unfortunately it winds up being the one that had the worst of the remakes.

Here we go...this needs no real introduction. Its my 10 favorite or most memorable kills from the A Nightmare On Elm Street series. These stuck with me one way or another. Freddy doesn't have a huge roster of victims unlike Jason and Michael. Since he tends to make an event of each victim, if he had those sort of numbers, his movies would be like 5 hours a piece. I also tried to keep these from being just "Freddy stabs with the glove" kills. A lot of these picks' placement tended to have the more elaborate effects and gross out factor win over. Anywho, here we go, Top 10 Freddy kills

I'm having these dreams...and there's this man...and he's burned.

A Nightmare On Elm Street

2010

Director: Samuel Bayer

Starring: Jackie Earle Haley, Rooney Mara, Kyle Gallner, Katie Cassidy, Thomas Dekker, Connie Britton, Clancy Brown, Kellan Lutz

Rated: R

Why are you screaming? I haven't even cut you yet.

~Freddy Krueger

Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy (2010)

Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy

2010

Director: Daniel Farrands (writer of Halloween 6), Andrew Kasch

Starring: Pretty much everyone

Unrated

I didn't get a blow-job on the set, if that's what you mean.

~Clu Gulager

I don't do checkers. I'm an UNO guy, all right?

Freddy Vs Jason (2003)

Freddy Vs Jason

2003

Director: Ronny Yu

Starring: Robert England, Monica Keena, Jason Ritter, Katharine Isabelle, Kelly Rowland, Ken Kirzinger, Chris Marquette, Brendan Fletcher, Lochlyn Munro, Kyle Labine

Rated: R

I've always had a thing for the whores that live in this house.

~Freddy Krueger

In Memoriam: Chase Porter

That's me in the corner, that's me in the spot-light...

Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

Wes Craven's New Nightmare

1994

Director: Wes Craven

Starring: Heather Langenkamp, Miko Hughes, John Saxon, Robert England, Wes Craven, Bob Shaye, David Newsom, Tracy Middendorf, Jsu Garcia, Tuesday Knight

Rated: R

Screw your pass!

~Heather Langenkamp

In Memoriam: Carlos

Yeah, well, the map says we're fucked.

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

1991

Director: Rachel Talalay

Starring: Robert England, Lisa Zane, Yaphet Kotto, Lezlie Deane, Ricky Dean Logan, Breckin Meyer, Roseanne Barr, Tom Arnold and Johnny Depp

Rated: R

Might be your dream, but its my rules!

~Freddy Krueger

Freddy's Nightmares (1988-1990) - Guest Article

Hey, guys. Its an honor to have my next guest stop in to slide us a piece for the Freddy Retrospective. His name is Cullen and he's one of co-hosts of the deviously funny podcast A TOUCH OF CRASS. Most importantly, he's one of my longest and very best friends in both the conscious and dream world. In my dreams, this guy is both beautiful and bad. In college, I would join in on his "7 Nights Of Freddy" marathon he would put on at his apartment every fall. So, there was no question he'd be contributing to this. You can find their podcast by going to their website (its also on iTunes and Stitcher), and follow them and Cullen on Twitter; @mynameiscullen and @ATouchOfCrass respectively.

The Trilogy Within An Ongoing Series

The Dream Child brings to a close a story line that began with A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. It continued through 3 films. Among a franchise that sports 8 entries in its original canon is this nice, complete standalone trilogy. You can basically start fresh in Dream Warriors and work your way through Dream Child and the story lines (I'm not talking film quality here) come to a satisfying and concise conclusion. With Dream Child we're left with Alice going off happily ever after with her life free of Freddy and with baby and Daddy in tow. We never hear from any of these characters again. They leave us with the promise that Freddy is probably still out there, but he'll never be harming Alice again.

Time to die, you scar faced limp-dick!

A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child

1989

Director: Stephen Hopkins

Starring: Lisa Wilcox, Robert England, Kelly Jo Minter, Nicholas Mele, Danny Hassel, Erika Anderson, Joe Seely

Rated: R

Bon appetit...bitch.

~Freddy

From 1987-1989, Freddy Krueger, a deformed child murderer turned teen dream killer was an unstoppable commercial force. Everyone knew who Freddy was and were big fans. So, aside from the movies and television, there was other things to market as well. We're going to take a look at them really quick here in this article.

In Memoriam: The Dream Warriors (Kristen, Joey & Kincaid)

God, I hate dreaming.

We all have better things to dream about.

This aint my dreamland.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

1988

Director: Renny Harlin

Starring: Lisa Wilcox, Robert England, Tuesday Knight, Andras Jones, Rodney Eastman, Ken Sagoes, Danny Hassel, Brooke Theiss, Nicholas Mele

Rated: R

Kincaid: I'll see you in hell!

Freddy: Tell 'em Freddy sent ya!

In Memoriam: Taryn White

In my dreams I'm beautiful...and bad!

Nightmares & Soundscapes: The Music Of The A Nightmare On Elm Street Series

Right here seems to be the perfect stop on the journey to discuss some of the music coming from the Elm Street films. Freddy was launching into the pop culture, and floating right in to the MTV generation. And with such, you had to get all the hot music acts and have a song from your movie to sell a soundtrack. Not many other of Freddy's horror bretheren did this. There might be a notable song or two in a movie, but no big cash in soundtrack. But, Freddy was coming from a studio growing and trying to become a major player. Making dollars where you could was part of the process. With Dream Warriors, Freddy's launch into superstardom came with a soundtrack that also brought a lot of excitement and attention. Let's go through the films with notable music in the series and take a look shall we? The year listed is the year it was attached to the film, not the year the song was released.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

1987

Director: Chuck Russell

Starring: Robert England, Patricia Arquette, Heather Langenkamp, Jennifer Rubin, Craig Wasson, Ken Sagoes, Bradley Gregg, Ira Heiden, Laurence Fishburne, John Saxon, Priscilla Pointer, Dick Cavett and Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Rated: R

Sorry kid, I don't believe in fairy tales

~Freddy Krueger

In Memoriam: Kerry

Relax, Jesse. Everything's gonna be o-kay!

Why A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge is the Best Sequel (Guest Article)

Returning for another spectacular piece at Naptown Nerd is author and fellow Elm Street enthusiast Randy Shaffer. I was ecstatic when he chose to lend his expertise to Nightmare 2's intended to be subtext, but moreso blatant sexuality. Also below check out his books which you can grab from Amazon in the link below!

A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge

1985

Director; Jack Sholder

Starring: Mark Patton, Kim Myers, Robert Rusler, Robert England, Clu Gulager, Hope Lange, Marshall Bell

Rated: R

There is no Jesse! I'm Jesse now!

~Freddy Krueger

In Memoriam: Rod Lane

You could just see the cuts...happening...all at once.

In the past with these, I've written silly little eulogy's to characters who didn't make it past a specific film, but Rod Lane is different. In the annals of slashers and teenagers in horror films, his alpha male "type" has never been done better than in the original Nightmare film. There's a Rod Lane in the majority of slasher films and you usually have decided you don't like the guy the minute he walks in. Its the kind of jock alpha male. They're the ones that is always a loud mouth, pestering characters you like or consider "normal". These guys ruin the good time and find all the characters that take the plot too seriously to be a bunch of buffoons.

A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

A Nightmare On Elm Street

1984

Director: Wes Craven

Starring: Robert England, Heather Langenkamp, John Saxon, Ronee Blakley, Johnny Depp, Amanda Wyss, Jsu Garcia (credited as "Nick Corri"), Charles Fleischer, Lin Shaye

Rated: R

One, two Freddy's coming for you

Three, Four better lock your door

Five, Six grab your crucifix

Seven, Eight gonna stay up late

Nine, Ten never sleep...again...

A NOVEMBER On Elm Street

HELLLLL YEAH! Welcome to "A November on Elm Street", bitch! This month marks the 30th anniversary of Wes Craven's original classic. The film that dropped Freddy Krueger into the the pantheon of legendary film monster. While Halloween is my favorite film of all time and Micahel Myers my favorite villain, Freddy Krueger is not all that far off. I frickin' LOVE the Springwood Slasher. As a film franchise, I actually think his original canon is tops. They are the most attentive to continuity and least clunky of the big 3 slasher villains.

Game Over! Ranking The Saw Franchise

Here's a fun fact I'm gonna reveal at the end of this. I only went to the theater (twice) for the first movie in this series. While I am a fan of them, when Saw II came out and my job at the time got screeners from from Lionsgate (Lion's Gate at that time) for their theatrical releases the same day they came out in theaters. So, I'd get to see it for free and in our biggest DVD testing room with the biggest and best TV and surround equipment at that time. So I kind of had a the next best thing, and I was on the clock getting paid to watch it. This also was the case for III and IV. When V came out I just didn't make it as I was out of town on a trip...then I saw V and it was bad enough for me to wait for VI on home video. I have no idea why I didn't go see 3-D. BUT, I did have a running gag with my friends and employees back in the day and I was sort of sticking to it. I had said that "When they get to Saw VIII, I will return to the theater". And I thought it was going to happen. Then, anticlimatically, it was over JUST before it got to that.

Why Halloween Is Just Not The Same Without A SAW Film (Guest Article)

Hey everybody! My bossman at Why So Blu? and Blu-ray Jesus himself, Brian White has done me a solid and delivered us a great piece for the Saw Retrospective. I think its the perfect capper to follow all the individual movie articles and really gives you a great feel for how every October was for this franchise from 2004-2010. I hope you all enjoy and I'll be back with Ranking The Franchise.

SAW Retrospective: Saw 3-D (2010)

Saw 3-D

2010

Director: Kevin Greutert

Starring: Sean Patrick Flannery, Cary Elwes, Betsy Russell, Costas Mandylor, Chad Donella and one brief scene with Tobin Bell

Rated: R

Game Over

~Laurence Gordon

SAW Retrospective: Saw VI (2009)

Saw VI

2009

Director: Kevin Greutert

Starring: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Betsy Russell, Shawnee Smith, Peter Outerbridge, Mark Rolston, Athena Karkanis, Samantha Lemole and Eddie Winslow himself Darius McCrary

Rated: R

We got it all ass backwards here.

~Jigsaw

SAW Retrospective: Saw V (2008)

Saw V

2008

Director: David Hackl

Starring: Costas Mandylor, Scott Patterson, Tobin Bell, Betsy Russell, Carlo Rota, Julie Benz, Meagan Good

Rated: R

They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery...

~Jigsaw

SAW Retrospective: Saw IV (2007)

Saw IV

2007

Director: Darren Lynn Bousman

Starring: Lyriq Bent, Scott Patterson, Tobin Bell, Betsy Russell, Athena Karkanis, Louis Ferreira, Donnie Wahlberg

Rated: R

It's the tool that's going to save your soul

~Jigsaw

SAW Retrospective: Saw III (2006)

Saw III

2006

Director: Darren Lynn Bousman

Starring: Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Angus Macfadyen, Bahar Soomekh, Donnie Wahlberg, Leigh Whannel, Costas Mandylor, Dina Meyer, Lyriq Bent

Rated: R

Death is a surprise party.

~Jigsaw

SAW Retrospective: The Scott Tibbs Documentary (2006)

The Scott Tibbs Documentary

2006

Director: Kelly Lynn Pancho

Starring: Zach Starr, Don Baldaramos, Shawnee Smith, Carrie Newell and Brandon Peters as "News Camera Op #2"

Unrated

Scott Tibbs style, baby!

~Scott Tibbs

SAW Retrospective: Saw II (2005)

Saw II

2005

Director: Darren Lynn Bousman

Starring: Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Donnie Wahlberg, Dina Meyer, Erik Knudsen, Franky G, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Beverly Mitchell, Lyriq Bent

Rated: R

He's in a safe place...

~John Kramer Aka Jigsaw

SAW Retrospective: Saw (2004)

Saw

2004

Director: James Wan

Starring: Cary Elwes, Danny Glover, Leigh Whannel, Michael Emerson, Monica Potter, Dina Meyer, Ken Leung, Tobin Bell

Rated: R

I'm a kill you, you sick asshole!

~Detective David Tapp

Forgotten Filmcast Ep 38 - HE KNOWS YOU'RE ALONE (1980)

As you all know I have a deep affinity for 80s slasher films. I had the honor recently of guesting on the Forgotten Filmcast with Todd Liebenow to discuss the 1980s slasher film He Knows You're Alone. This film's biggest claim to fame is that its the feature film debut of Hollywood legend Tom Hanks. If you're never heard the Forgotten Filmcast, you're in for a treat, definitely check out some of the other episodes for terrific analysis and discussion of "the films that time forgot". Below you can hear the podcast and I've also got a link to the site.