Thursday, June 6, 2013
SUPERMAN: The Retrospective - Part IV: SUPERGIRL (1984)
Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Starring: Faye Dunaway, Helen Slater, Peter O'Toole, Hart Bochner, Mia Farrow, Peter Cook, Marc McClure, Maureen Teefy
What the hell did I just watch?
What an absolutely bizarre film. Supergirl is the ill-attempted spin off from the Superman franchise to hopefully continue successes and keep films going since Christopher Reeve said Superman III was his last. This attempt proves how bug nuts and clueless the Salkind's are when it comes to making a movie. Supergirl is completely off the rails as a film. Completely, unlike the previous film that manages to have some sort of narrative and serious approach to its danger. However, Supergirl has plenty of moments of "is this really happening right now?" making it a fun kind of stupid in the end.
Supergirl is truly the Return To Oz to Superman. Its the same universe, the same world, but wow is it a crazy take in a different direction. Not only in that sense, the effects work, villain and tonal things constantly reminded me of that little gem throughout. A lot of things in this film just aren't there and don't make sense. Try describing the film to someone and they'll surely think you're making things up. Seriously. Witches? A dragon?
There's also a love story with possibly the least amount of substance I've ever seen. Hart Bochner (we're getting to Terror Train one of these days, I promise!) plays Ethan, some local landscaping hunk that every girl has eyes for. There's really no interaction between him and Kara until the villainous witch Selena puts a spell on him that makes him fall in love with the first person he sees. Its her. They kiss and then he gets into danger and she saves him. They follow all this up with these overdramatic speeches about their love and such...and WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? There is nothing there. It was a spell and they really know jack about each other. Its hilariously bad.
From the start, my mind was blown. It starts on this fabric version of Krypton that claims not to be in outer space, but inner space. So when Kara travels away she goes through what I'm thinking is the galaxy. Then when arriving on Earth, she emerges FROM THE WATER. What? And then in the end she travels in the sea back to her home. How in the world does this whole idea work out? I am so confused. Somebody help.
One really cool thing coming from Supergirl-The Phantom Zone. Yes, we actually get to see in this thing. And its pretty cool, it looks like a set, but its pretty cool. If there's one takeaway, it gave us this. Congrats, Supergirl.
Scott made another joke yesteday: "I can't wait for your Superman IV: The Quest For Peace Piece"
He need not wait no longer, its next!