Ranking The HALLOWEEN Franchise

Holy friggin' crap.  We're here! Day 31 of 31 Days Of Halloween.  I can't believe it.  This has probably been the most involved and biggest retrospective yet (and maybe ever).  James Bond may have had more movies, but I also had a lot more time (3.5 months).  This has been an awesome undertaking and one of the franchises I always wanted to do when it came to retrospectives.  I want to thank all my guest writers who submitted pieces to enhance and class up this joint.  You guys were all great and didn't even half ass anything when you could have.  It truly means a lot and I am full of gratitude.

I don't really have much more to say, being as I've been talking about this stuff for 31 days now.  At the bottom and at the top of this will be no surprise, but I'm sure there will be a shocker or two here as I don't see eye to eye with a lot of the "safe" rankings of this series by a majority of the fanbase.  I discovered this film and series on my own and I'll do my rankings as...my own.  Happy Halloween, and don't forget to scroll to the end for a tease of November's MUCH smaller retrospective.

How HALLOWEEN Became The 'Choose Your Own Adventure' Of Horror Franchises (Guest Article)

Folks, this is kind of a big deal here on Naptown Nerd.  The tables turn here, as I am proud to give you FORBES writer Scott Mendelson's first guest article for the site.  As you all probably know, I got my start doing guest pieces for his old blog Mendelson's Memos.  

Halloween:The Curse Of Michael Myers, Part III (The Producer's Cut)

I see only one bastard in this house.
          ~Kara Strode

The Producer's Cut of Halloween 6 is not a great film by any means, but its an important one.  It does help that its heads and shoulders above what was released theatrically.  The 90s was a weak time for horror, and for some reason all the horror icons being villains wasn't enough.  They all apparently needed to have some sort backstory and retcon to the truth of the original.  Freddy started it, Jason and Leatherface followed suit and Michael Myers couldn't even escape it (a could months later, Pinhead too would join in).  Things as they were weren't good enough.  There was always something "behind the evil" or "this is what it REALLY is".  The evil in all these needed to be explained where no explanation was necessary.  Mythologies were being forced where the makers didn't realize they had spent the previous decade creating one on their own.  But, these are movie monsters and these mythologies did attempt to make them more classical in a sense.  They're attempts at taking the characters into different places and its different, but not in all cases does it work.

Halloween:The Curse Of Michael Myers, Part I

Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers
1995
Director: Joe Chappelle
Starring: Donald Pleasence, Paul STEVEN Rudd, Marianne Hagan, Mitch Ryan, Kim Darby, Bradford English
Rated: R

A long, long time ago, it was a night of great power. When the days grew short, the spirits of the dead, returned to their homes to warm themselves by the fire's side. All across the land, huge bonfires were lit. Ohhh, there was a marvelous celebration. People danced, and they played games, and they dressed up in costumes, hoping to ward off the evil spirits. Especially the boogey man.
                                                  ~Mrs. Blankenship

Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers (1989)

Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers
1989
Director: Dominique Othenin-Girard
Starring: Donald Pleasence, Danielle Harris, Beau Starr, Ellie Cornell, Wendy Kaplan, Tamara Glynn
Rated: R

I prayed that he would burn in hell.  But in my heart I knew that hell would not have him.
                                   ~Dr. Loomis


Oh boy...Halloween 5.  I feel like we've got  A LOT to talk about with this one.  While this very very much a lesser entry into the series, I find discussing it pretty fascinating.  It's an interesting film to say the least.  But we'll get into all that.  I'll just start going with this and hopefully it weaves its way into some sort of narrative.  I'm sure Dominique Othenin-Girard probably said the same thing when he sat down to write the film.  I'm going to start with a compliment.  I think hands down, Halloween 5 has the best poster of the entire franchise to date.  So, at least you are the best at something, Halloween 5.  Also, your opening credits pumpkin carving is pretty badass.

Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers (1988)

Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers
1988
Director: Dwight Little
Starring: Donald Pleasence, Danielle Harris, Ellie Cornell, Beau Starr, Sasha Jenson, Kathleen Kinmont
Rated: R

We're not talking about any ordinary prisoner, Hoffman! We are talking about evil on two legs.
                                ~Dr. Loomis

The title wasn't just literal for the film, it was an announcement to those scared off by Halloween III.  This is the sequel you wanted.  Tom Atkins would not be returning.  The only mask of importance would be that of the pale faced Shatner.  And here it is, in time for the 10th anniversary of the original.  The film plays as a loving tribute to Carpenter's classic while also carving its way as something of its own being.  To make ties stronger with the first two, Donald Pleasence was also back to reprise his role of Michael's Van Helsing, Dr. Loomis.  Halloween 4 would also return the series to its roots of being a full fledged independent film.

Halloween II (1981)

 

Halloween II

1978

Director: Rick Rosenthal

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence, Charles Cyphers, Lance Guest, Pamela Susan Shoop, Leo Rossi

He was my patient for fifteen years. He became an obsession with me until I realized there neither reason nor conscious or anything about him that was... even remotely human. An hour ago I stood up and fired six shots into him and he just got up and walked away. I am talking about the real possibility that he is STILL OUT THERE! 

                ~Dr. Loomis